Boredom and Naruto
by abbdoyle12
Summary: Juuuust a bunch of really random stuff, written as a result to agitation, the gnashing of teeth, and boredom.
1. It's Dance Time, Babe

**Erm, yeah. This is the result of boredom.**

**Major. Boredom. It sucks, I don't care.**

**SCENE:** Kakashi is sitting alone at a bar, an entire bottle of booze in front of him. It was basically gone. His hair seemed to be kinda deflated, and he slouched over the bar. The bartender, Homer Simpson, had just taken away his empty booze bottle and was about to give him another when Britney Spears walked in through the door. She had, of course, her kids with her.

Homer ran away.

Kakashi took one look at Britney, whipped out a kunai, threw it at her, and split her head open. Little Preston or whatever the hell the kid's name is fell to the ground. Kakashi passed out.

**AND NOW, HERE IS THE REAL STORY!!**

Kabuto was strolling along in the park, wondering what he would do to Orochimaru when he got back to the lair, when Kakashi landed in front of him. He let out a scream like a banshee and Kakashi shot him.

_**YAY KAKASHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

Back off in Konoha, Shikamaru and his father were having an argument.

"But dad, I don't WANT to go to ballet classes every Thursday afternoon!" Shikamaru wailed, sinking into a chair.

"You'll go to the ballet classes and you'll like them!" Shikaku bellowed. An evil grin spread across his face. "If you don't, you won't get to marry Abbie! And you'll inherit my coat that looks like a ripped up potato sack! SO HA!"

Shikamaru gasped, horrified at the thought of losing me **(this is my fanfic, I'll write whatever the hell I want)**. And inheriting the ripped up potato sack.

Just then Choji burst in the room.

"Mr. Nara! I have to talk to you!" Choji gasped, panting. He still managed to shove a few pork rinds in his mouth.

"Well, what is it?" Shikaku asked impatiently, wanting to get back to ballet talk.

"It's about the ballet! Don't make Shikamaru do it!" Choji said between mouthfuls and gasps.

Shikamaru leapt up. "YES!!" he cried, punching his fist into the air.

"Make him take pilates!"

"WHAT?!?!"

**Off in the forest…**

Jiraiya peered through the bushes, his binoculars smashed up against his eyes. He looked down at the single palmtree-like figure at the waterfall, who was wearing a bikini. Typical.

"Well, that little lady looks awfully lonely," Jiraiya said to himself. "I think I'll go accompany her."

**Oh, Jiraiya. :D**

The girl was, like I said, palmtree-like in figure. **PAY ATTENTION!! **But on moving closer, Jiraiya realized it wasn't wearing a bikini. It was wearing a black sports bra and black skort. She had long, stringy black hair, almost dreadlock like.

Jiraiya finally made his way down to wear the girl was standing. Hearing his shoes clacking on the ground, the girl turned around.

"OH. MY. GOD."

A crazy smile lit Envy's face upon hearing Jiraiya's remark.

**Okay. I don't feel like writing about Envy anymore. Soooo…**

A giant cinder block fell through the sky, landed on Envy, and Envy was basically oozing out from under the cinder block. Yay.

**Back in the Nara household…**

"Now roll onto your back, raise your hands to the ceiling, inhale, and lift up your head to look at your knees. Exhaling, I want you to raise yourself up until your shoulders have touched your knees."

Shikamaru did as he was told, cursing pilates under his breath. Next to him, Shikaku was very happily doing the exercises.

Choji had passed out from all the exercise minutes ago.

"How troublesome," Shikamaru growled.


	2. Scary Munchkins

**Bah. It's American Idol time. So you can't really blame me.**

After 30 minutes of hell, Shikamaru was finally giving his pilates instructor a scowling goodbye. When she had gone, Shikaku turned to Shikmaru, beaming.

"Now that wasn't too bad, was it?" He asked, clapping a hand on Shika's shoulder. Shika shrugged it off and looked at Choji, unconscious on the ground. He nudged him with his foot. All he did was flop on his other side like a dead fish. Ew.

Across the village from the Nara household, Naruto was being treated to ramen by Iruka. Iruka was wincing and crying inwardly as Teuchi placed Naruto's twenty-third bowl in front of him.

"Hey, uh, Naruto, why don't you slow down a bit? You don't want to overdo it and get sick, do you?" Iruka asked tentatively.

"Oh, please. I'm the best ninja in the village, the most amazing person you'll ever meet! I can handle _anything_," Naruto boasted. He then threw up all the ramen.

"Naruto you idiot! I told you to take it easy! A ninja knows when to stop pushing himself, when he's reached his limits. Like Shikamaru in his battle against Temari." **Like I've said before, it's my fanfic, I'll write whatever the hell I want. If Shikamaru is going to be presented as amazing, deal with it. ******

"Hmph!"

Sakura was walking down the street, humming to herself when she heard an outburst from Ichiraku Ramen. Upon hearing Naruto's name, she shrugged and kept walking. She was outside Aho Tea when she found herself facing none other than Ino.

"Why, if it isn't billboard-brow!" Ino jeered, smirking as a deep red tinge appeared in Sakura's cheeks. She placed her hands on her hips and sneered at Sakura, who had balled her hands into fists.

"Ino pig, if you don't get out of my way _I'll make you_," Sakura growled, her nails cutting into her palms. When Ino laughed and took a step closer to Sakura, she felt the muscles in her right arm tense up.

"Empty words, billboard-brow. You couldn't make me even if I let you. You're just a sad, weak, pathetic little - -"

Whatever Ino had been about to say, Sakura never knew, because just at that moment, the vicious cat that killed me and Ritsuka fell from the sky on top of Ino's head. She let out a yell of surprise and fear, and then the cat basically killed her. I won't go into all the gory details, but if you would like to see what the evil cat is capable of, go on YouTube and search "Cat Soup," by Smosh.

Then a house dropped from a tornado in the sky, and when the house hit the ground, all the scary little munchkins from the Wizard of Oz ran out, formed a circle around dead Ino, held hands, and began singing "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead." It was pretty darn amazing.

After the creepy munchkins are done singing, Simon, Paula, and Randy appeared at their little judging table in front of the munchkins. Randy was making a peace sign with his fingers and exclaimed, "Dawg, that was awesome." Paula was crying and waving her arms in the air, lost for words. Simon had his arms crossed and was leaned back in his chair. He took a deep breath, and said, "I'm going to be honest with you – that was truly awful. It was a totally wrong song for your high pitched voices, the dancing didn't help _at all_, and none of you were really keeping time. All in all, it was a truly horrendous performance."** I applaud you, Simon.**

All the little munchkins were crying and holding onto each other. Simon was pelted with tomatoes.

Sakura stood there, her mouth hanging open and her arms limp at her sides. Then she passed out. At least she didn't start crying.


	3. Indian Ninja

When Sakura regained consciousness, she started crying. **DAMN!! **She fell to her knees and called out, "Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke!" and all that dumb ass crap she always pulls.

In Orochimaru's lair, Sasuke's soul gave a twinge **(can souls do that? Cuz Barry the Chopper said his soul was feeling all tingly when his body was near)** and he knew _she_ was being worthless again. He smacked his hand against his forehead and when Orochimaru asked, "What is it, Sasuke? Do you want a hug? Or more? _Anything?!"_ but Sasuke just shook his head no.

In the equipment shop, Kakashi was browsing through the paper bombs. When he heard someone call his name, he turned around and found himself face to face with Anko. Her gray eyes **(are they gray??) **seemed to be sparkling with viciousness. Kakashi cringed.

"Kakashi! Where the hell were you last night?! You knew quite well that there was a meeting about the Chuunin exam! Kindly tell me what was so important that you bailed!" Anko roared, making Kakashi take several quick steps backward.

Kakashi would have rather died than tell Anko he skipped the meeting to practice his disco routine. He had been so close to getting the spin _just_ right, and he determined that if he stopped to go to a meeting, he would never get the spin perfect. He coughed, stuck his hand in his pocket, and took on his 'cool' pose. "Sorry. I had a few personal things to take care of. I guess I lost track of time. It was mission related," he said in his lazy, laid back voice.

Anko seemed to grow a few inches in her rage. "YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU SKIPPED THE CHUUNIN MEETING BECAUSE OF 'A FEW PERSONAL THINGS'?!?! I KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT YOU WERE DOING LAST NIGHT!" Anko bellowed. Inner Kakashi began crying, performing that stupid disco spin.

**If the rest really sucks, I'm sorry. My cat crawled into this cardboard box that was next to my chair, so I trapped her in there and carried the box around the house. She finally escaped and tried to eat my leg. So if the rest really sucks, it's because I'm paranoid that April (my cat) is coming back to finish my leg.**

When Kakashi said nothing, just looked at Anko, she exploded. "YOU WERE SEEN IN YOUR HOUSE DANCING THE GOD DAMN DISCO! EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THAT IS MISSION RELATED, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SCUM!"

Kakashi panicked. He grabbed a sword (still in its case/sleeve thing), held it high over his head, and brought it crashing down on Anko's head. When she fell to the floor, he let out a Shawnee war cry and scampered out of the shop.

Sakura, who was still crying but left Aho Tea, had been walking by the equipment shop when her sensei had left, screaming a Shawnee war cry. The complete randomness scared her pathetic little self and she began crying. **NOTE: THIS IS BEFORE SHE WAS A MEDIC NINJA AND WAS COOL. IT'S LIKE, FOUR DAYS AFTER SASUKE LEFT FOR OROCHIMARU.**

Tsunade was swinging back and forth on a tire swing when she saw Kakashi run past the yard, emitting a Shawnee war cry. She looked curiously after him, then shrugged and resumed her swinging. When she swung backwards, a loud _thump!_ made her twist around in her seat.

A little munchkin had gotten into her swing's path. He/she/it was bleeding quite profusely from the head, and since it was so little, it was losing a lot of blood. She stared at the pitiful… thing, but decided it wasn't worth healing. She resumed her swinging.

If only Tsunade knew what horror was wrecking her village. As she was swinging, a vicious toy cat was running from building to building, causing as much mayhem as Lee on sake. Many ninja were attempting to catch and put an end to the toy cat, but the cat was too fast. As she swung back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, she hadn't the slightest idea that the physco cat was making its way right towards her.

**DUN DUN DUN! WHAT SHALL HAPPEN NEXT?! Review, or you won't find out.**


	4. Llama!

OH

**OH. SNAP. Evil cat is after Lady Tsunade! Oh, if only Ritsuka and I were there… wait…**

**That damn cat killed us too.**

**Shiz.**

When Gai saw Kakashi screaming a Shawnee war cry, he _had_ to join in. "HERE'S TO THE POWER OF YOUTH!" he shouted, and began screeching a Navaho war cry. Well, since the always entertaining Rock Lee saw his sensei and Kakashi screaming Indian war cries, of course he joined also. "Hai, Gai Sensei! I will be youthful while I still have the chance!"

So Kakashi – who makes anything, no matter how dorky, look cool/sexy **fangirl** – and Gai and LeE – who destroy whatever sexiness Kakashi gives to some strange activity – ran around Konoha, screaming Indian war cries.

A vicious toy cat ran past them, but the Indian ninja were so preoccupied with being Indian ninja that they didn't notice.

Anko was slowly regaining consciousness in the equipment shop. She rubbed her head and spotted the encased sword, and the memory came rushing back to her.

"Son of a bitch!" she shouted, cursing Kakashi. She was about to go kick his ass when Paula Abdul wandered into the equipment shop. Paula was talking to herself.

"Now, no one is going to boo me when I tell you I didn't like your performance because I'm Paula. I tell everyone that they're a star on the rise, their soul is beautiful and all that crap because I can't let it show what a physco bitch I am! Everybody knows it because of my TV show, but they all _love_ judge Paula! Why? Because even though your performance sucked, I'll tell you that you have a great personality, and no one will boo me!"

Shikamaru, as a favor to me, ran into the shop – he had been excused from pilates for this – and began booing Paula. She started crying like a sociopath and began shouting at him, screaming her heads off because that, my friends, is how Paula is. :)

Shikamaru yelled one more long, loud "BOO!" and then hit Paula with a llama's butt. He then left.

Anko hit herself in the head with the same sword Kakashi had used, because she just couldn't take this craziness. Paula vanished in a poof of smoke and so did Simon and Randy.

A vicious toy cat ran into the shop, and then out again.

Naruto left Ichiraku Ramen with Iruka after forty-one bowls of Ramen. He had thrown up five times.

"Told you not to over do it…" Iruka trailed off, because just then, Kakashi, Gai, and Lee ran past, chanting Indian war cries. Iruka and Naruto looked at each other, then began screaming and running around in circles.

Somewhere near the movie theater, Sakura fell into a hole, in which she had an amazing epiphany. She floated out of the hole and ran to the hospital, where Tsunade was sitting on a swing. A munchkin lay beside her, dead.

"Lady Tsunade! I've just had an amazing epiphany! I realized that in this story, I am NOT going to ask you to train me as your private student! I shall continue being the useless and weak tagalong I was the entire original series!" She beamed at Lady Tsunade, who threw a slug at her. Hee hee.

Suddenly, a toy cat sprang through the air and landed on Tsunade's face. Sakura was going to do something expected, like start crying and pass out, but Tsunade had already plucked the cat off her head, and with a small _tap! _on its head, the cat exploded.

_**OMG YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! WAIT TILL I TELL RITSUKA!!**_

**The End :)**


	5. Kakashi and the Headdress

**Soooo I'm waiting for my dad to get out of the shower so me, my mom, and my older sister can go stuff our faces with Chinese food. Coincidentally, **_**Rush Hour 2 **_**is on!! And I was all, "But Dad! If you called them and ordered the food, you could go pick it up and speed back here, and we could watch Jackie Chan and the funny-voiced guy kick Asian butt!" But he is in a bad mood and shot that down :( ****So Imma write a fanfic while I wait. Enjoy! OR ELSE.**

**Well, not really 'OR ELSE.' I mean, what can I do to you? Flame you over the computer? THAT'S mature. But I can't hunt you down and gut you like a fish. Soooo if you don't review, I say 'Poo you!' If you do review, and review nicely, I will give you a virtual hug and maybe virtually bake you a virtual cake. Sound good? 'Course it does.**

Kakashi drummed his fingers on the counter, looking agitated. He sighed impatiently and looked up eagerly every time the door clanged open, but his pretty face fell every time.

Kurenai finally walked through the door, her red eyes narrowed. "What do you want, Kakashi?" she asked, raising her eyebrow at the odd show-girl headdress that he wore. He clapped his hands upon seeing her and rushed forward to shake her hand. Kurenai yanked her hand away and placed both hands on her hips, scowling. "I broke off plans with Asuma to come see you. What do you want?"

Kakashi gnawed on his lip under his mask and fiddled with the headdress. "Well, uh, you see, I was given this headdress by a very, very important person. They seem to think it's my style. And then, they told me if I tried to destroy it, I would burst into powder. So, I was wondering if you wanted it. 'Cause I really can't afford to burst into powder. So whadda ya sa— Kurenai!"

She had turned away at the first mention of 'powder' and was striding to the door. Kakashi ran after her and jumped in front of her, on his knees, hands clasped together.

"Kurenai, please!" Kakashi gasped, grabbing the front of her dress.

"Kakashi, let _go!" _Kurenai cried, backing away quickly. But Kakashi crawled after her, the headdress drooping close to one side of his head, in danger of falling off.

"Kurenai, you can just take it from me and stash it in a cupboard or something! If someone sees it, they might think it's weird, but they won't question your sexuality, as they would if they found it in my possession! And I _cannot_ afford to be thought of as gay!" **No offense to you gay people out there. **"So please, Kurenai, please!"

Kurenai shook her head vigorously, one foot held out in front of her like a shield. "Come any closer and I will kick you in the face," she said warningly.

But Kakashi still crawled forward, foaming slightly at the mouth. "Kurenai, just _take the headdress! _Put it on for Asuma, and do a little dance for him! I don't know! Just don't leave me with it! I trust you, so I don't think you would take a hammer to it just so I'd die! If I leave it in a dumpster or something, someone might destroy the awful thing, and I'd die! Kurenaiiiii! Don't do this to meeeee!" Kakashi screeched, twitching so badly he fell over and began writhing on the floor.

"You are so messed up, Kakashi. So messed up." Kakashi let out a caw and inched closer to her. True to her word, Kurenai swung her foot out, but Kakashi collapsed on the floor, so Kurenai's foot connected with the headdress, and it flew across the room. . . .

Just then, Kabuto walked into the shop, humming a Spice Girls song to himself. The headdress bashed into the wall, just as he entered the shop, and the headdress exploded into six pieces. Kakashi watched all of this, and screamed when the headdress fell to the ground, destroyed. He curled into the fetal position, waiting to explode to powder, and said his dying wish. But after a few seconds of non-powderization, he looked up, and saw that where Kabuto had been standing, there was now a pile of powder.

**I hate Kabuto. A lot. So I changed the story, just for him :)**

"I'M NOT DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!" Kakashi cried, jumping up and doing a little dance. Kurenai stood there for a moment, taken aback, then shook her head and walked out the shop, pausing to bash Kakashi across the head, but he didn't notice; he was far too busy rejoicing.

While Kakashi was busy dancing around random people in the streets, shrieking, "I'm alive! I'm alive! I'm going to bother you because I can, because I AM ALIIIIVE!" Rock Lee was across town, singing along to pre-creeper Michael Jackson.

**Just thought you should know.**

When Kakashi was done harassing strangers, he ran back to his house, burst through his door, ran to his windowsill, and scooped up Mr. Ukki. He then danced around his bedroom, talking animatedly to Mr. Ukki, telling the plant about his adventures that day: Molding clay pots with Gai, flicking peas at people's heads in the movie theater, coming across the headdress, not dying when the headdress exploded, and then bothering random people. Mr. Ukki was silent, but Kakashi _knew_ the plant was ecstatic about his exciting day.

Later that night, Kakashi fell asleep, holding Mr. Ukki with a giant smile beneath his mask, and dreamed happy dreams of Mr. Ukki doing the conga wearing a show-girl headdress and Kurenai carving Kabuto's face into a tree.

**I do not know. Just . . . just don't ask.**


	6. Sliding Down A Mountain on Wooden Sticks

**Bahahahaha! This is how I imagine **_**I**_** would deal with a skiing adventure. These poor, poor characters that I'm embarrassing! Can you imagine what their lives would be like if I actually owned them? **_**CRAZY!!**_

**Btw – this is post Chunin exams. Well . . . that's what I'm saying. So ha.**

"Naruto, are you honestly still trying to get the skis on?" Sakura asked, lifting her snow goggles off her eyes.

"THE STUPID THINGS WON'T STAY ON!!"

Sakura clicked her tongue impatiently. "You are such an idiot! Sasuke did it perfectly!" she snapped, but flashed a smile at Sasuke, who was standing a few feet away on the snow, skis and goggles on, hands in pockets.

A blur of green, silver, and blue shot past them, skidding neatly to a stop in front of Naruto and Sakura. He wasn't using any ski poles.

"Naruto," the skier said, sliding his dark goggles up on the right side, "the instructor showed you how to put the skis on. Did you listen or not?"

"Of course he didn't listen, Master Kakashi," Sakura said, scowling at Naruto, who was now jumping up and down on his skis.

"Who," Naruto grunted, "would – want – to – slide – down – a – mountain – on – wooden – STICKS?!" he roared, trying to snap the skis over his knee.

"Naruto, please stop trying to break the skis. I'll show you how to put the skis on and how to move, alright?" Kakashi said, beckoning Naruto over to him. Naruto stomped over to Kakashi, muttering darkly the whole time.

Sakura whooshed over to Sasuke, batting her eyelashes and flipping her hair. She gave the zipper of her jade-green snowsuit a tweak and simpered, "Sasuke, you're the smoothest skier! Where did you learn? Do you think you could give me a few tips?"

Sasuke only grunted and glared at the snow, as if it had greatly offended him. Sakura ignored this and continued.

"Now, don't go thinking too badly of me when you see me skiing, alright, Sasuke? I'm not too bad, but no one compares to you! And I told you that snowsuit would look great on you, didn't I? You made a great choice buying it; you just look so good in dark blue! It really is your color! Only Naruto would pick orange," she said, rolling her eyes. Her eyes narrowed as she watched Kakashi kindly showing Naruto how to secure his skis, and her expression softened a bit. "To each their own, I suppose, though. . . ."

This caught Sasuke's attention, and he looked at Sakura shrewdly, then looked at Naruto. _He's such a fool,_ he thought, trying not to smile.

Sakura and Sasuke watched Kakashi and Naruto for a few minutes, and Sakura clamped her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing when Naruto took a few shaky steps with his skis on and promptly toppled over, and Kakashi sighed and shook his head. "It's good Kakashi's a real patient guy, or else he'd skin Naruto alive, or he'd let us do it, eh?"

It had been meant as a rhetorical question, and Sasuke knew that. But he answered anyway. He actually opened up his mouth and said a word. Not a grunt, not a nod, not a belch **(Yeah, I don't know)**, but he actually said a word.

"Yeah," he murmured, watching Kakashi kindly help Naruto stand upright.

Sakura whipped her head around so fast she cricked her neck. She stared at Sasuke in disbelief, her mouth hanging open. _Did . . . did Sasuke just _talk_? Did he actually answer my question with a _word_? And I hadn't even _meant _for him to answer! But he did anyway! What on earth is going on?!_

Sasuke didn't talk again for a while. When Naruto finally managed to move with his skis on, they all clambered onto the ski left, Sasuke and Sakura, and Kakashi and Naruto – Kakashi was with Naruto so he could catch the kid if Naruto managed to topple off the lift. Kakashi trusted Sasuke and Sakura to stay stationary for less than five minutes.

When the time came for them to jump off, Sakura let out a 'Whee!' and slid neatly off the lift, dropping to the ground and remaining upright. Sasuke followed suit, without the squealing, and stood solemnly next to Sakura, waiting for Kakashi and Naruto to come down.

Naruto was a bit confused as to how to get off. He showered Kakashi with questions, and Kakashi, with a jolt, realized Naruto had missed his chance to jump. Sighing loudly, Kakashi grabbed Naruto by the back of his snowsuit, grabbed the blonde's ski poles, and shoved Naruto off the lift, throwing the poles after him. On the ground, Sasuke and Sakura watched as Naruto fell, yelling, to the ground, and landed facedown in the snow, his yells muffled. The pair then looked blandly up at Kakashi, who gave them a defeated little wave, and settled into his seat, waiting for the lift to go around again.

When Naruto finally clambered to his feet, he spat out a mouthful of water and asked, "Where the heck is Master Kakashi going?! Does he think it's a ride?"

Sakura rolled her eyes and explained, "He's still on the lift because you missed your chance to jump off! He was too busy getting all your things together and shoving you off the lift to jump. Just wait here till he gets back. It'll only be five minutes."

Sasuke muttered, "Idiot" under his breath, eyeing Naruto nastily. Then, without a word, he shoved his ski poles into the snow and shoved off, leaving a drooling Sakura and an extremely furious Naruto behind him.

"Who does he think he is!" Naruto exclaimed. "He thinks he's all that just because he can ski and a bunch of other useless stuff! Man, he makes me mad!"

Sakura scoffed and said scornfully, "'A bunch of other useless stuff'? He was only the top of every subject in school and mastered every jutsu he was taught! Please, Naruto. You're just jealous."

If Sakura had lit a firecracker under Naruto, it wouldn't have made him madder. He spluttered at Sakura, who disregarded Naruto and sped off after Sasuke, leaving Naruto standing there alone.

"I'm not losing out to Sasuke! We'll see who the best skier is!" Naruto grumbled, bending down to snatch up his ski poles and wobbling dangerously. He grit his teeth and tried to imitate the way Sakura had gracefully skied away.

Yeah, he failed.

He shoved off way too roughly, and Kakashi could only watch in horror up on the ski lift as Naruto plummeted down the hill, losing both ski poles in a matter of seconds. Naruto crashed into everyone in his path, earning a few well-earned fingers.

Naruto screeched like a piglet and suddenly, Sasuke was skiing alongside him. "You are a total idiot," Sasuke said, and then – he _laughed._ Sasuke actually laughed. Naruto gaped at him, and Sasuke laughed again. "Get that idiotic look off your face," he said, and skied away.

Naruto was still in such shock, he didn't even hear Kakashi call out, "Naruto, move!" Naruto just kept gliding along, and Kakashi, who had just jumped from the lift at the completely wrong time – but quite on purpose – sighed, "Oh, dear," as Naruto skied right where Kakashi was about to land.

Naruto missed Kakashi by a millimeter, but was yanked to a halt when Kakashi grabbed Naruto's left ski and held tight. Naruto let out a yell as he lurched forward dangerously and his ski came off, and he somersaulted through the air, landing in a big heap on the snow, groaning.

Kakashi slid down the slope to where Naruto lay and sighed. "Naruto, I somewhat expected you to ski all by yourself, but I didn't think you'd be that awful." And then Kakashi started laughing, and after dishing a bit of snow playfully in Naruto's pouting face, he skied off after his other, more coordinated students.

Naruto lay there, fuming to himself, for a minute or so. Then, grumbling darkly, he yanked off his other ski, and snapped it clean in half and chucked it down the mountain.

Sakura, on her second round down the mountain, skied by Naruto and slid to a stop, a big smile on her face and her hand on her hip. "Big loser," she laughed, holding out a hand to Naruto. Naruto's face lit up and he eagerly reached for Sakura's gloved hand. She helped him up, punched him on the shoulder – "Oww!! Sakuraaaa!" and sped away.

As Naruto was shuffling his way down the mountain, he was sent flying by a sharp hit in the back. He rolled all the way down the mountain, acting like a bowling ball and knocking a good deal of people over. When he finally rolled to a stop at the bottom of the mountain and began yelling himself hoarse, he looked up to see Sasuke sliding down the mountain behind him, stopping right behind Naruto.

"Have fun skiing?" Sasuke asked, and skied away, smirking all over.

"I hate skiing," Naruto muttered darkly, and stomped off to the hot chocolate building, where he was going to demand a bowl of steaming hot ramen, and God help the person who denied him of it.

Up on the ski lift, Sakura, sitting with Kakashi this time, watched Naruto storm over to a small building. "Master Kakashi," she began, "did you bring us out here fully knowing what was going to happen?"

Kakashi closed his eye as he grinned at her. "Sakura, I can't see the future, but I had a vague idea of how this would end up. Naruto would screw up, you'd do fine, as would Sasuke."

At the sound of Sasuke's name, Sakura started. "Master! I forgot to tell you! Sasuke actually _spoke_ to me today, after I asked him a rhetorical question! He knew that, but he answered anyway! And I heard him _laugh_ at Naruto. Sasuke. _Laughing."_

Kakashi stared at Sakura. After a moment, he finally said, "We should probably test him and see what he's taking."

"Sounds like a plan."


End file.
